Hello Meadberry,

So, I went to Cleveland over the weekend to see a buddy. I am not really a Cleveland sports fan, so I don’t have many other reasons to go there. The spouse came with me and on our way home we stopped to see 500 Days of Summer. It is too bad that we can’t get a print of this movie. It really was nice. I chose that word very carefully because it fits. I had a nice time and the spouse was very nice to me the rest of the night. Ah…the magic of cinema.

Speaking of my wife, she is watching My Life on The D List right now. This is a reality show about the life of Kathy Griffin. I can honestly say that when I am done watching this program that I will be a worse person. In fact, I may have lost 10 brain cells.

Usually, this time of year marks the end of interesting movies until October. However, this year is a bit different. July was very weak, but August is robust with titles. GI Joe is the big blockbuster opening this weekend and has been praised as “pure fun”. On the complete opposite end of the spectrum is Meryl Streep playing Julia Child in Julie & Julia. I believe this is the first film that comes with a “women only” advisory sticker. Lastly, a horror film I know nothing about called The Perfect Getaway. How perfect can a getaway be if you are in a horror movie?

Three months until the Rib and Chop House opens. Just wait until you try the spinach dip!

Now your moment of zen:

“This is a boy meets girl story. It is not a love story.”

Narrator in 500 Days of Summer

Hello Meadberry,

I am dying for some new movies. There have really been only two big movies since July 1st – Harry Potter and Bruno. While Harry is wonderful, Bruno had a big first weekend and then bad word of mouth killed it. For those people that go crazy about “offensive” movies, you do not have enough faith in the free market society. When movies are bad, people don’t go. Then these movies don’t get made anymore. The free market can be ugly sometimes, but it takes care of itself. That is unless the government gets involved. That will be the most political thing I have said in 3 months. I apologize.

Is it normal for children to whine and complain endlessly? The Little Projectionist dropped his nap and by 6:00 PM that boy is tired. I sometimes wish I was in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory and some oompa-loompas would come and take him to bed. Is that wrong?

This week we have three new movies to end the drought. Alvin and the Chipmunks was one of the top five grossing movies in Meadberry, so we have some high hopes for G-Force. I am using deductive reasoning to assume that people in Northwest PA like talking animals. If this movie does well, I am bringing back Babe for a special engagement. Orphan is horror and I don’t want to see it. Lastly, is The Ugly Truth with Katherine Heigl. I really like her. She might be the new Meg Ryan.

Now your moment of zen:

“So much time and so little to do. Wait a minute. Strike that. Reverse it.”

Willy Wonka

Hello Meadberry,

We’re in the dog days of summer. I don’t know why, but whenever I hear that phrase I think of Body Heat. This will be one of the shortest e-mails ever. I have two important things to talk about and then I am out of here.

First, the Little Projectionist turns three tomorrow. My little boy is getting “all grown-ed up”. He is such a pleasure, that kid. I promised him that we would go to Wal-Mart and get a bunch of new toys. Wal-Mart is good for that sort of thing. Twenty bucks and I am a hero.

More seriously, I got an e-mail this week from a Cranberry customer on behalf of a very sick kid. This poor kid is a HUGE Harry Potter fan but is in the hospital and can’t see the movie. She is in a hospital in Pittsburgh and we hope she gets well real soon. I had Warner Brothers send her a bunch of stuff and that made me feel pretty good. Hope it did the same for her.

This week is all about Harry Potter. He made 850 people magically appear Tuesday night at midnight. We love that guy.

Now Your moment of zen:

“My temperature runs a couple of degrees high, around a hundred. I don’t mind. It’s the engine or something.”

Kathleen Turner in Body Heat

Hello Meadberry,

Last Tuesday I did something I have not done in a long time. I sold tickets at the box office. I only let in 10 minors to see The Hangover and oversold Transformers. They asked me to please “never get behind the register again”. I guess that’s ok, but I won’t let them touch the projectors ever again. Seems fair.

I am sitting here listening to the Little Projectionist yell. He is almost 3 and while the terrible two’s are almost over, he is milking these last two weeks for all they are worth. He has had more time-outs than the end of a college basketball game. Does anyone remember Baby Herman from Who Framed Roger Rabbit? That is my son….sans stogie.

Sacha Baron Cohen’s Borat really is the model of an offensive comedy. I think it actually made me feel ill. This summer, The Hangover raised the bar. It is now up to Mr. Cohen to try to outdo himself and The Hangover with Bruno. If you like teenage movies, are not quite old enough to see Bruno, or just like to act immature, I Love You Beth Cooper opens. My guess is the female lead has the name Beth Cooper and someone loves her. She probably is pretty.

Now your moment of zen:

Hello Meadberry,

I am headed to the Pirates-Cubs game tomorrow night. While I root for the Steelers and the Penguins, I am originally a Cubs fan. I will never be anything but a Cubs fan. In fact, I may be the only Cubs fan that hopes they never win the World Series. There is something so wonderful about the struggle. In fact, my perfect Cubs season is when they win the first 3 games of the World Series and then lose 4 in a row. Being a Cubs fan is like being in the Egyptian lair in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.

The Little Projectionist screamed for his Mom last night when I put him to bed. I explained that his mother was not home, but I don’t think he believed me. I told him he could trust me. I then realized it was just a ploy to get one more story. I have to admit, I admired the strategy. He has mastered the art of delaying the inevitable.

Wednesday, we have two HUGE movie openings. Ice Age 3 (or as the Little Projectionist’s sister calls it –“The Fox Looking For a Nut”) opens. We have 3-D in Meadville because most people really seem to dig it. I like seeing it in both 3-D and 2-D. Not one or the other, but both. Also for everyone over the age of 18, we open Public Enemies with Johnny Depp. I will be seeing both by Monday.

Now your moment of zen:

Hello Meadberry,

I hope everyone had a nice Father’s Day. It really is like a second birthday of the year for dads. I can do what I want for the entire day and everyone is nice to me. I even got presents. My girl bought me Stranger Than Fiction on Blu-ray DVD. She even got the previously viewed copy from Blockbuster, so she stayed true to my money saving principals. We watched it last night and I am convinced that Will Ferrell doesn’t need to rely solely on inane humor. He should have been nominated for best actor for his performance. It was simply brilliant.

The Little Projectionist is swimming better and better. Still no breathing yet. Hopefully by July 4th.

The movie theater is packed with good stuff and this week we add Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen and My Sister’s Keeper. If anyone comes and does a double feature of these films you deserve free popcorn. You would have to be a unique individual to watch a robot movie followed by a tear jerking chick flick. Just hold on to your two ticket stubs that show you watched them on the same day and we will buy you popcorn on your next visit.

Now your moment of zen:

Hello Meadberry,

Went to see The Hangover last Saturday night. I laughed so hard that I was tired when I left the building. What a completely inappropriate, raunchy….funny movie! Best movie since Wedding Crashers. If you are not offended by gutter humor, then make sure you get to this movie fast.

The Little Projectionist is learning to swim. He has everything down except the breathing part. Unfortunately, this is probably one of the most important things to learn. The wife does not find it funny when he almost chokes on the water. While I think he is learning, she thinks I am trying to drown him.

On the ice cream front I have been asked to add Casey’s to the list of yummy summer treats. Maybe we should have a contest at the theater. Free tastings, of course!

This week we have two funny movies opening: The Proposal and Year One. Word on the street is that The Proposal is very good. Somewhere I thought I read that Sandra Bullock smells bad. I have not been able to see her movies since. I have heard nothing about Year One except that Harold Ramis directs. Check out Mr. Ramis’ filmography at IMDB.com. Not too shabby. You will also see that he is remaking a summer classic: Meatballs.

Since you will probably not get another newsletter before next Wednesday, the next phase of summer blockbusters begins with Transformers. As far as I am concerned the only star of the movie is Megan Fox. She is pretty in an Angelina Jolie kind of way, without that silly Brad Pitt hanging around.

Now your moment of zen:

“We’re not gonna leave the baby in the room. There’s a friggin’ tiger in the bathroom!”
Ed Helms in The Hangover

Hello Meadberry,

It is going to be hard to top last week’s newsletter. I think this newsletter is getting fun again for me. I go through ups and downs with my responsibility to write it. However, I am proud to say that in over four years, I have never missed a week. Actually, one time I let a girl in film school write it for me. I think her family had a terrible time at the theater in Cranberry last Sunday night. They wrote me an e-mail to tell me about it. I think we could be the best movie theater in the world if I only could talk to every single customer. So, please write to me about your experiences at our theaters, both good and bad. I can’t always promise an in-depth response or free stuff, but I will listen.

That was a long paragraph. I apologize.

My kids are both sick. The Little Projectionist turned into the Exorcist baby and threw up all over me. While the beautiful girl I am married to would have panicked, I thought it was kind of funny. Shame on me.

That same girl and I watched Fools Rush In last night. Selma Hayek is still a babe and Chandler Bing is great as Alex Whitmore. They should do a remake with Megan Fox and, well…..anyone.

This week The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3 opens. Travolta is the new Gary Oldman. He is only going to play bad guys. Also starting is Imagine That with Eddie Murphy. It will be the first movie date I have with my daughter that is not a cartoon and doesn’t star furry animals singing. I really just want to go see Up again. Best movie of the year so far.

Now your moment of zen:

“You’re the one. You are everything I never knew that I always wanted”
Matthew Perry in Fools Runs In

Hello Meadberry,

Did you see UP last weekend? I took the Little Projectionist’s sister and we had a great time. It was the second movie she sat through from beginning to end. The third if you include The Incredibles. However, she was 6 weeks old at the time and slept the whole time. Not that I am sure she will remember UP. If you listen to her, the movie was about balloons and a bird that got a boo-boo. It really was a kid’s adventure yarn embedded in a grownup tale about grief and regret, purposes lost and rediscovered. I copied that from the internet, but it was what I was thinking anyway.

I took the Little Projectionist to Conneaut Lake Park last weekend. He really enjoyed the rides. It is great to see the park back in business. Next summer we will add The Chop House to the summer tradition of the area. Did I mention the huge porch? You not only will be able to get the best steak of your life, you will be able to eat it and see the stars.

This week we get two new movies. When I was a kid I used to watch Land of The Lost every week. It was part of the Sid and Marty Krofft line of programming including H.R. Pufnstuf, The Lost Saucer, Donny & Marie, and my personal favorite Dr. Shrinker. Will Farrell stars and, as you know, I like the Will Farrell from Stranger Than Fiction. However, I would take the Will Farrell from Old School if necessary. If it is the Will Farrell from Semi-Pro, then come see The Hangover. From the makers of Old School, I am secretly thinking this may be the funniest movie since Wedding Crashers. That was the most TV and film references I have ever made in one paragraph. I need a cold compress.

Father’s Day is coming very soon. If the men in your life are anything like me, they want a special gift certificate to see three movies. This would normally cost $24. However, we are selling it for $20. I would see Transformers, Public Enemies, and Bruno just in the next month. This is a great gift that can be topped off with an ice cream from Hank’s or Dairy Queen. They both rock.

Now Your Moment of Zen:

“No matter how many times you save the world, it always manages to get back in jeopardy again. Sometimes I just want it to stay saved! You know, for a little bit? I feel like the maid; I just cleaned up this mess! Can we keep it clean for… for ten minutes!”

Mr. Incredible in Pixar’s The Incredibles